I am really itching to get back to the old me. The one that showered and did her hair everyday. The one that put on actual outfits that didn't include pajama pants and nursing tank tops. The one that went for runs and did yoga. I miss her. 

I also miss leaving the house whenever I so please.

 I have a bit of a confession, I can count the number of times I have left the house with Josephine during the week (besides going to doctor's appointments) on one hand.  I am pretty ashamed. I know I should bring her out more. Get her (and me) used to leaving the house. But, man, it is difficult to do that when you have a baby that refuses to sleep more than 30 minutes at a time during the day. She has moments of calm and contentedness, but she can quickly crumble into a fussy mess at a moments notice. I have no desire to take a fussy baby anywhere. And, short naps mean next to no time for me to get ready. Plus, I am utterly exhausted all the time.

I know I need to get all of us on a schedule. Especially when it comes to sleep. And I am trying. One of my favorite bloggers recently wrote a post about creating rituals for sleep. I felt like this post was written just for me. It was the nudge I needed to get us going in the right direction. So, last night, after her nightly bath, and after she nursed, we put Josephine to sleep in her crib for the first time. And, wouldn't you know, she slept longer stretches than she had been. We aren't sleeping through the night yet, but at least there has been some positive change.

That old me is inside here somewhere. She just needs a bit more sleep.

something the old me would totally wear--found here.


  1. If you think you cannot sleep now, wait until she is out with the car for the first time alone!
    Little children little problems, big children...well let's say the adventure of Motherhood is a wonderful journey! More to come.

  2. Song for a Fifth Child

    Mother, oh Mother, come shake out your cloth
    empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
    hang out the washing and butter the bread,
    sew on a button and make up a bed.
    Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
    She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

    Oh, I've grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue
    (lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
    Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
    (pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).
    The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew
    and out in the yard there's a hullabaloo
    but I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
    Look! Aren't her eyes the most wonderful hue?
    (lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).

    The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
    for children grow up, as I've learned to my sorrow.
    So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
    I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.

    by Ruth Hulburt Hamilton

  3. Hang in there - the new Erin will mesh with the old Erin soon enough.


    1. Thanks Liz! Patience, patience, patience ;)

  4. oh you sweet lady! i know just how you feel. SO glad that i could nudge you towards getting her in the crib. so glad she got a little more sleep (and you too!). i promise that things get easier and especially when you're refreshed in the morning. SUCH a huge difference. sayin a little prayer that you get some much needed rest. <3

    1. We are getting there! Every night is different, but just having her in the crib makes a world of difference!

  5. Be gentle with yourself. That transition the first baby/child was a tough one on me. I regret not being more gentle with myself. It takes awhile to get into a routine. It takes awhile for a "new normal" to come about. You will get there, I promise.


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